Some define us both inside and out, changing traits in our personality for the rest of our lives. Some simply help us have a different perspective and make us realise how we really want to spend our days.
Mine isn't something that I've made public - basically because I don't like people to feel sorry for me.
But just for the record............this is my story....
When I was a kid we spent many a sunny afternoon down at the beach. I've never been a big beach fan - the grittiness of the sand in my cossies was never something I've been ok with. But I have many fond memories of building sandcastles and mermaids on the beach with my brother and sister. We would bury each other up to our heads, carve out our names with sticks and I would constantly forget to apply more sunscreen - meaning I would wake up the next day red as a beet.
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| sorry, this isn't me, it's a stock photo from www.dreamstime.com - but I was pretty cute as a kid!! |
I recall countless times when I got sunburnt; mum would peel off big layers of skin from my back. It was a fascinating experience, and one that none of us knew was a pre-warning to the dangers I could be facing down the track.
Fast forward a few decades, and I'm now a mother myself, and we are now told that being burnt too many times isn't in fact building up resilience, but possible doing much worse.
I had a largish mole on my back that I had my GP keep an eye on. It was perfectly round and all one colour, so I never really worried about it.
It was when I started working at my own business that I decided it might be time I started looking after myself a little better. Having 2 kids under 5 meant there wasn't much time for me - but I also knew that I had to look after myself if I was going to hang around for my boys.
So off I hopped to my first ever mole scan. A fairly straight forward procedure which was fairly non eventful. "there's a few spots I might take a sample from," said the doctor. "Better to be safe than sorry." and that's where I left it.
No one can ever prepare you for the "call back" from the doctors office.
"it's about your test results, we need you to come back so we can discuss them with you."
It's something that I wasn't prepared for.................and neither was my husband.
It was late July and it was a Tuesday - and the call back was on the Thursday.
Longest 48 hours of my life
You see, not knowing what is ahead in your future is a good thing.....isnt' it!?!! You look at life and go, "ahh, she'll be right, we'll sort it out!"
But getting a call back means that she won't be right...............there's something wrong here and you can't just shrug this off - YOU NEED TO TALK TO A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR OPTIONS
Shit
So hubby and I went to the docs together - and we were told the news. Yes it's a melanoma, but it's 100% treatable. I promptly burst into tears - tears of relief and tears of sadness. The doctor told me not to worry, that we got it early and that we'll just cut it out and that's that - end of story. But for me it meant that I my own body had created something that could actually kill me - my body has turned against me in some way......and I just wasn't sure what the future would hold because I had this cloud of doubt hanging over me.
So I cried and the doctor assured me, and hubby assured me, and the nurse assured me - and a few days later, after a few hours laying on my tummy............it was gone.
I took that day off work and treated myself to a new skirt and a coffee with hubby - then promptly got back to work - and I WAS FINE.
I'd dodged a bullet with thanks to my doctor and I'd caught it early.
Nearly a year later I had another suspicious looking mole pop up - doc took a biopsy of that and it came back melanoma again - stage 1 very early, let's pop that one out too.
The second one was like the second child - a new challenge, but one I'd already gone through - so I took that in my stride
There was also a Basal Cell Carcinoma (BCC) that they took out at the same - not a killer mole, but still better out than in, bit of a safety measurement.
So now I say that I look a little like a patchwork quilt - it's nothing too shocking - my scars tell a story that I've shared with you today.
I am now on 3 monthly check ups as well as scans with the mole doctor - and if I keep this up I'll be able to nip any new ones in the bud..........I'm on a high priority list due to my 'more than one' melanoma - should I feel privileged or petrified!?!!
Either way it has given me perspective - a gentle nudge to myself to say, "stop taking things so seriously and worrying about things you have no control over. Enjoy what is right here in front of you and be grateful for the same. Not everyone gets a second chance as easily as you have, so MAKE IT COUNT!!"
So that's what I'm doing today...............and every day.............
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| Again, not my photo, but I'm waiting for inspiration like this to help me move forward!!!! |
Making it count
Hope you are too!! xxxxx
