PERSONAL: Melanoma - what I truly want to do now that I've dodged a bullet or two

Everyone has a life defining moments........some are a little more exciting than others.

Some define us both inside and out, changing traits in our personality for the rest of our lives.  Some simply help us have a different perspective and make us realise how we really want to spend our days.

Mine isn't something that I've made public - basically because I don't like people to feel sorry for me. 

But just for the record............this is my story....

When I was a kid we spent many a sunny afternoon down at the beach.  I've never been a big beach fan - the grittiness of the sand in my cossies was never something I've been ok with.  But I have many fond memories of building sandcastles and mermaids on the beach with my brother and sister.  We would bury each other up to our heads, carve out our names with sticks and I would constantly forget to apply more sunscreen - meaning I would wake up the next day red as a beet.

sorry, this isn't me, it's a stock photo from www.dreamstime.com - but I was pretty cute as a kid!!

 
I recall countless times when I got sunburnt; mum would peel off big layers of skin from my back.  It was a fascinating experience, and one that none of us knew was a pre-warning to the dangers I could be facing down the track.

Fast forward a few decades, and I'm now a mother myself, and we are now told that being burnt too many times isn't in fact building up resilience, but possible doing much worse.

I had a largish mole on my back that I had my GP keep an eye on.  It was perfectly round and all one colour, so I never really worried about it.

It was when I started working at my own business that I decided it might be time I started looking after myself a little better.  Having 2 kids under 5 meant there wasn't much time for me - but I also knew that I had to look after myself if I was going to hang around for my boys.

So off I hopped to my first ever mole scan.  A fairly straight forward procedure which was fairly non eventful.  "there's a few spots I might take a sample from," said the doctor.  "Better to be safe than sorry."  and that's where I left it.

No one can ever prepare you for the "call back" from the doctors office.

"it's about your test results, we need you to come back so we can discuss them with you."

It's something that I wasn't prepared for.................and neither was my husband.

It was late July and it was a Tuesday - and the call back was on the Thursday. 

Longest 48 hours of my life

You see, not knowing what is ahead in your future is a good thing.....isnt' it!?!!  You look at life and go, "ahh, she'll be right, we'll sort it out!"

But getting a call back means that she won't be right...............there's something wrong here and you can't just shrug this off - YOU NEED TO TALK TO A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR OPTIONS

Shit

So hubby and I went to the docs together - and we were told the news.  Yes it's a melanoma, but it's 100% treatable.  I promptly burst into tears - tears of relief and tears of sadness.  The doctor told me not to worry, that we got it early and that we'll just cut it out and that's that - end of story.  But for me it meant that I my own body had created something that could actually kill me - my body has turned against me in some way......and I just wasn't sure what the future would hold because I had this cloud of doubt hanging over me.

So I cried and the doctor assured me, and hubby assured me, and the nurse assured me - and a few days later, after a few hours laying on my tummy............it was gone.

I took that day off work and treated myself to a new skirt and a coffee with hubby - then promptly got back to work - and I WAS FINE.

I'd dodged a bullet with thanks to my doctor and I'd caught it early.

Nearly a year later I had another suspicious looking mole pop up - doc took a biopsy of that and it came back melanoma again - stage 1 very early, let's pop that one out too.

The second one was like the second child - a new challenge, but one I'd already gone through - so I took that in my stride

There was also a Basal Cell Carcinoma (BCC) that they took out at the same - not a killer mole, but still better out than in, bit of a safety measurement.

So now I say that I look a little like a patchwork quilt - it's nothing too shocking - my scars tell a story that I've shared with you today.

I am now on 3 monthly check ups as well as scans with the mole doctor - and if I keep this up I'll be able to nip any new ones in the bud..........I'm on a high priority list due to my 'more than one' melanoma - should I feel privileged or petrified!?!!

Either way it has given me perspective - a gentle nudge to myself to say, "stop taking things so seriously and worrying about things you have no control over.  Enjoy what is right here in front of you and be grateful for the same.  Not everyone gets a second chance as easily as you have, so MAKE IT COUNT!!"

So that's what I'm doing today...............and every day.............

Again, not my photo, but I'm waiting for inspiration like this to help me move forward!!!!

Making it count

Hope you are too!!  xxxxx

OPINION: Plans vs action

Are you a list maker like me!?!!

Do you look forward to nothing more than sitting with a cuppa, a clean piece of paper, and a lovely pen to write out your days plans!?!!   (careful Vicki, your OCD is starting to show!!)

Do you find yourself working on your planning alot more than the actual WORK you've planned!?!!

I don't know about you, but without a goal set.................I'm a bit of a meanderer.
I might sit on Pinterest or Instagram for a half hour or so - then maybe pick up a paintbrush or sketch pad and while away another bit of time....

MEANWHILE the dishes aren't being done - the clothes are still very dirty and YOU KNOW time is running out because your son has training tomorrow and those clothes AIN'T GONNA WASH THEMSELVES!!

BUT EVEN WITH A PLAN it still doensn't always go....................to plan!!!

 

electricfairground.com

Is that we never actually grow up, and therefore get sick of doing the same thing every day?   I know as a creative person this affects me greatly.

SO WHAT DO WE DO!?!!

I don't have a super cure, but I do have a super incentive plan!!

You migth not get everything done, but you'll still be spending half the time doing what you love, and half the time getting productive and ticking off a heap of things on your list!!

FIRST...........THE PLAN

 www.creativekristi.com

You must write out a list of jobs/tasks you need to do for the day - write out as much as you can think of, but remember that your hours in this day are finite, and other forces may be at play, which means you probably won't get through it all today.  But get it out of your head and write it out anyway.

Second, write out all those little creative projects you'd like to get done too.  If it's one big project, try to break it down to about the same length as that list of tasks.  if you don't have as many tasks, maybe write down "research pinterest for inspiration" as a task!!!  don't judge me!!!

NOW......simply work on alternate lists throughout the day.  Do one chore, then reward yourself with some art fun.......it's a great incentive for you to get through the trudgery, and it's a wonderful way to be productive AND have fun at the same time!!

TIPS - I'm a bit of a time keeper - it's the army brat in me screaming out for order!!!  If you have a big task that is broken down into smaller ones, maybe even set a timer for that task.  Have a canvas you want to spend a bit of time on!?!!  put on the timer for 15 minutes.  You'll get a bit done now, and then you'll take a break from it during your next task, and you can come back with fresh eyes and see what you missed!!!

NB - if you don't get everything done............don't beat yourself up.  LIFE IS ABOUT SPENDING EVERYDAY DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE, NOT BEING SAD ABOUT ALL THE WORK YOU HAVE TO DO.  Enjoy it while you still can, you can always do more of the same tomorrow.

I think the main reason I wrote this is because we are constantly in touch with time wasters.  Our phones, tablets, tv's etc - they suck away our time and make it hard to get motivated.  so much inspiration and yet so little time to do it, because we are constantly searching for inspiration!!

One of my creative friends also has a great blog post about this - she gets SO MUCH DONE so be sure to take her advice on board too, especially if you're planning on using this on a daily basis, and not just on your days off like me!!!

www.createandthrive.com

I say enough is enough - once you've planned out what you're going to do - BLOODY DO IT!!  No more getting stuck on the screen, you've got goals and rewards all at the same time!!!

If you want to find me, I'll be the one sitting at the kitchen bench - cuppa in hand, notebook & pen by my side, planning out my week - between sessions on pinterest & instagram!!!

dottiwilldo on etsy

CREATIVE: 29 faces - a month summation of less than 29 faces!!!

surely it hasn't been over 2 weeks since I posted last!?!!  That can't be right!?!!

I closed the gallery recently, and we have spent the last fortnight clearing, cleaning & finalising all the nasty little details of a small business closure - lots of loose ends to tie up, lots of misc bits that need finishing, and lots of rubbish to throw out!!  It's very similar to moving home - something that I did too much as a kid and will try to avoid for the next 20+ years!!!

So I didn't get much time to spend daily on my faces - but I am making it a PRIORITY now that I'm free of the space..............and I'll be focusing more on the body form as well as faces to get some progress with my art.

These faces are by no means my favourites - but I know that every one you do is a step closer to getting where you want to be - it's all about practice, practice, practice!  (still need desperately to work on hair!)

Hope you haven't had any hurdles too big to jump over these last few weeks - I know others are fighting bigger battles than me, so it's nice to be able to enjoy the free time and be grateful!!!\

CREATIVE: 29 faces - days 4 to 12

Please don't say I'm slack, I have some wonderfully valid excuses!!

I've been getting used to the idea of closing down my shop :(  It was a gorgeous gallery in the heart of Fortitude Valley here in Brisbane, but sadly the last day was yesterday, and I closed the doors for the very last time..................I'm being very positive about the situation, so am looking at this as a door closing, but with many other opportunities opening up for me in the very near future!!

It's funny, once you've set your mind to something that has a creative bent, it just won't let you give up, will it!?!!

So if i may, I'm submitting my work on one blog, that shall cover a few times I had 10 minutes to sit and sketch.

I found a book on big eye art at the local Cystic Fibrosis Op Shop - and i knew I had to start making these whimsical girls!!!

 I think with each piece I do, my confidence grows, but I'm still not sure on the hair - but this is about faces, no!?!!

 I'm going to add that I had been watching Dami M (last years x-factor? winner) on the TV when this one was created (coloured in with oil pastels) her voice is amazing, my hubby texted me while he was in melbourne this week that she performed for his work colleagues - UNBELIEVABLE!!

 And this lovely lady was created from a canvas gone wrong - I tried mixing old lace with gesso, and the end result didn't work.  Luckily I had started making faces, which meant I could hide her in the back, but also make the flowers in her hair a feature - I have this one on display at home but I feel she may be a work in progress to add to as I get a little more fearless, and a litte less fearful!!!

So from now on I'll be more connected, i promise!!  sketch every night, and post every morning.  Not many more sleeps to go till the end of the month.............my days will be filled with moving out of the gallery and a bit of painting.................

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy - Anne Frank xxx

CREATIVE: 29 faces.....day 3

so while this face wasn't drawn today (is that allowed, am I now disqualified!?!!)

I wanted to show how far I had come in the last few months.  This one was done before Christmas and she has a very whimsical feel to her.............

I have watched a lot of You Tube between then and now and am learning about shading and position, as well as colouring & composure.

This was done in watercolour pencils, although lately I've been loving the neocolour water soluble crayons - they go on beautifully and it's such a fun process.

But then again, looking at this lovely, I really enjoyed the acrylic too - mixing with opaque might be something I could look into.

so many options when you're playing with no agenda.....

Now all I need to do is win lotto so that I can spend ALL DAY doing this type of thing!!!

CREATIVE: 29 faces, day 2

ok, bit of a late night sketch this time, just finding 10 minutes for myself at the end of the day!!

This one feels a little Goldie Hawn to me - her eyes have been accentuated and I might work on some colour later on.

I was looking at doing some side on faces as I'm getting used to the front on ones - hoping to extend my repetoire - maybe this 29faces is just the thing i need at this point!!!

CREATIVE: 29 faces - day 1

ok so this is truly a VERY NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME - but I'll give it a go.

sorry if I haven't done everything I need to - I'm much like the rest of you - more of the creative, and less of the organised!!!

I was working on a few faces while at a crafty retreat with some girlfriends earlier this week - and I've been loving the results coming out of late.

This was one of my favourites - using neo colour crayons and lots of acrylic paint - hope you like it too!!